Friday, December 4, 2009


What does it mean when you roll over your bed only to discover that you're missing your rosary that is usually just right beside you?
I find it scary, actually. I won't lie.

I woke up one morning realizing that I can't continue my future plans anymore for a reason that future itself is quite a blur. I didn't know what to think. I just discovered that I'm heading for a dead end. Several thought entered the door to my head. Not making a single sound but its weight is taking a toll on me.

The first thing that I have thought of is to give up. To finally let it go and move on. Another thing is to fight, to change. I once read that every minute can turn things around.

I guess my life didn't depend on minutes.

At the end of the line, no matter what I choose, it will still sound pathetic. Fighting in the end? Not really a good way to be a heroine. Let go? Pathetic again, you're already there, why bother stopping when you've reached too far.

Drowning in the sea of thoughts was the only feeling I had. Two choices again, to swim or to sink in.

It's easy to sink in and not know what lies ahead and it's hard to swim and what you may be dealing with in the shore may be a lot harder.

I've been breathing lifeless air for a long time now and I don't think I've learned what Life is. Too young? No, never use your age as an excuse.

I guess my sphere of interests only revolves around myself. Cause someone has to care for me, Im willing to do it for myself.

So as the vision fades away, there is only one thing I'm going to do as I walk to the end.

I'll try to really care for myself this time.

Bring back the pride, the motivation and dedication.

And on the process I still hope to touch a life. Is it even possible? To touch a life without love?