Thursday, January 14, 2010


Last night, I was crying over a spilled milk. Tears should not have fallen for some stupid thought in my had. I couldn't help it. I was just desperate to move on. I kept telling myself this last night, My head is already there but I just feel like something keeps me glued in that place.

Moments ago, I turned my head around as I meet his eyes. Along with the excitement in my eyes is a bump of realization in my head. It wasn't me he's looking at. I've said this before, I think I have a gift at seeing people. Who they really are and what they really meant. It's not perfect at times cause what I thought was the opposite.

I have this great feeling that this time I'm right. That gaze wasn't for me. It's someone from the same circle. And that's what hurts me.

Fine, it's okay not to like me as long as you don't like someone within my circle.

Because that will become the nth slap in the face.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Year of The Tiger

2009 is officially my worst year. Too much drama in my head and my heart nearly didn't make it from the heaviness brought into it. I know I'm not the only one who had a terrible year. Others may have far worse than from what I had.

This 2010, I want to make it. I'll finally align my dreams and start prioritizing things. I am glad that I was able to attend this Advent Recollection here in our parish last Dec. 5. No regrets. I may have lost things in the year of the Ox but I feel that I'm going to receive things after that horrible storm.

The first thing that I want to do is to have God in the center of my life. I'm done bargaining and begging him to give me the things that I want for my life so I decided to just let go. I just told him that whatever he had planned for me, I'm willingly going to follow.
Speaking of letting go, Ive finally accepted the things I cannot do. I'm far from being superwoman anyway and got my life way off the tracks. So this year, I'll focus on one thing that I should've focused a long time ago. I'm finally letting go of things that I now know, may not be for me.

I'll move away from toxicity. Who wants to live in a world full of hate?
I read this book which has the quote : "Hate can't drive out hate only love can do that." I'll do my best to stay positive this year though I know I'll go through something that is really crucial. I'll read more books about self confidence and inspiration and find people who could give me that.

I'll share my life through writing. Times may have confused me to where I'm supposed to be but with what had happened, I think, I finally know what I want in life and I'm going to pursue it for real as long as it doesn't go against God's Laws.

I know it's hard to don something that is right because temptation would always be posing way better but follow your heart because it always know what is good. These are just some things I have learned during the tough year and I'm applying it to the incoming year.

I'll blog more.