Wednesday, January 23, 2008

i've got a lot to say to you.

a lot of things really make me insane and anxious these past few days. the highlight of my week would probably when some people made me insane because of thinking!!

i really hated it when he asked me a question. and the question does not concerns him anyway. i mean if i answered his question with a yes or a no.... he'd still do the same thing he planned a few weeks earlier maybe. and sad cause i think people lied to me about some special things. did you know that i did not even had the mind to study for my ANSOGEO quiz? good thing GOd has mercy and our test was moved to MONDAY. thank HIM really. and i hope that the people who keeps on turning me around would have the conscience for all those things that they are telling me. cause i really dont care if what lies ahead is better. i've been DISTURBED. making me insane right now. and BAD.

mehn, seriously. i'm near hell. hmmmm...

damn the people who make me think so much..

specially himm...


Monday, January 21, 2008

my trip to beda...again

i went to beda again to watch the annual batch cheering competition. i said to myself that i would go there early because i want to start to program because MC might sing again! :) haha. but as usual plans go, i failed. i arrived there at 1030 am when i am supposed to be there before 10. sad again.
anyway, the juniors won!sad for the seniors right? but i guess the juniors really deserved it. and the freshmen deserved it too. haha!
i was shocked because *geegee* was there in the seniors squad making his stunts. and mehn!! it was awesome.
then i watched the battle of the bands, still not seeing MC, i just waited until wenobo played. and they won too. zayc is so happy! i was making her jealous because i was able to watch the battle. seeing those pinkiesmilies going down the drain! haha!!

and still i'm sad because i was not able to see MC. my dear MC <3>

and i miss his VOICE! damn damn damn! hahahaaa

wel nothing interesting happened in my trip there because i was not with my lovable and adorable friends..JAHGONAL! if zayc, anna and the gang were there, we would have shouted on the top of our lungs... kasi naman! i was so alone. haha!! i was not able to express my deepest feelings with the festivities. :)
by the way. my birthday's next week.
i am expecting some gift from someone else. and i would really really really really be me. haha! but i think it would be impossible because he told right in front of my face that he would not give me anything. and that's enough to believe him. :)

okay.totally going away from the topic. so that's it.

i just miss MC.

"just so you know these feelings takin control of me..."

again.damn. :)

staying here...

i am currently with jang checking all the courses that we are about to enroll for the LEAP. so we are choosing between guitar101,fashion101 and other 101. i think. we're totally bored. we're waiting for michie and ydette and jin and they are here!! as in now. 520 pm.

well i'm a bit obsessed with some of the people around me who are freaking.. KAPAL NG MUKHA! hahaha!!

kasi i like this guy who i think likes my friend. (yeah,i think it's the third time).yes i did the math. so i think BKK's life is still better than mine. kasi ba naman the current person who fell in love with her just composed a song for her.. and it's really awwwww....

but me. i just keep on composing songs for someone else. my feelings telling him on how hard i try to reach out for him. to understand his actions. to know his feelings on things. sad isn't it? when you try everything for that one person to notice you but all that he sees is the person beside him. who made him nothing but crap. :) haha!

home, as other calls it. atmosphere at home is sadder than the past. haaay! sometimes i just wanted to chase my dreams so that i be far from independently. ironic huh? i guess that's how things in this world go.ironic.
on how we sacrifice things for the one person just to see his smile.but he does not even care about you.on how constant change turn your whole world up side down in just a snap.

honestly.i have not moved on from everything that had happened in my life. two years right? so hard to move on. hard on not thinking what my previous life has offered.

well i still can't decide on things.
why does it need to have so many choices.

no wonder i don't know what i want in life.

just like these courses i am choosing.
maybe i should just take writing 101. :)

for better blogging. kasi alam kong di coherent nung mga ideas. :)

Monday, January 14, 2008

frustrations. near its climax. i think.

lea gave me a gift! thanks lea. and so i will stuff my frustrations there.
so. i was crying while writing all my "sama ng loob." to all the things that i could not reach. for all the people who touched my life and then walked away.for those people who were able to chase their dreams. and for the people who were lucky enough to be with the people i dream to be with. :)
well i wish i were typing in my own computer but i am somewhere in manila because sharing my thoughts with the public isn't an "academic" thing. so it's not allowed at home.
hmmmm.. i've been sighing a lot lately. a sign that i am tired of what's happening with my life. if something's happening.
i really have nothing else to say but "frustrated."
i just can't move on...
sad isn't it.

Saturday, January 5, 2008


so i was not posting here for so long but i suddenly missed it.
men, a lot of things had happened in my life. some are good but a lot are bad.
i continuously struggle between the good and the bad. i'm lost and i'm trying to find my way back.

i'm crying out for help.
i'm outstretching my hand.
help me.
save me.
drag me to the bright side.

on my multiply blog. i was thinking on getting some nicotine to get through college but i just can't. cause i think that's not me. but there's this thing that i have done that i never imagined myself doing.
man. seriously.

so this is not just about school. my problems deepened and men.

i am so flattered to be depressed.

i guess..
SIX LINES on my skin.
not bad for one week.

so i like the way i used to write my past entries. i think that was awesome,
i think.
so i miss writing like that .
it was more positive than the way i write my life right now.

this is just the start of new blogging.
i think i missed a year of not blogging here.
i think.

i hope it's the start of something new. :)