Saturday, April 24, 2010


The only thing that keeps my mind sane and my laptop calm is this electric fan that is less than a foot away from me. Well, I've been trying to download the pilot episode of 10 Things I Hate About You thrice already and I just couldn't find a good copy that doesn't cut after a minute. SUCKFEST and I think I have failed in downloading it again.

I've downloaded episode 2 of it successfully but I couldn't really get the first episode done! I'm freaking frustrated and my laptop has been on for five hours already. Oh for Pete's sake. Good thing I have a dose of Glee 1x15 or I'll be screwing my imagination later on.

Whew. What a week. I just want you to know on how I've witnessed a MIRACLE this week and I'm really grateful for it. REALLY REALLY GRATEFUL. It's true that you just have to look deep within your heart to be able to find what you really want and who you really are
and if you would ask for God's blessing, you would get it.

It's about letting it go and waiting for good things to land on your palm and cherish it and treasure it when it's already there. It's seldom that we get the chance we want so we've got to fight for it.

And to quote Paramore, "It's not a dream anymore, it's worth fighting for."

But for this downloading pilot episode, I think I'm going to rest for now.

And my entry is totally irrelevant to the title. IT'S JUST SO FREAKING HOT in here. seriously, I sprayed water on the ground to see how hot the weather is and I think the water drops evaporated even before they hit the ground.

I'm just saying.

Monday, April 19, 2010


Did you know I bothered to but a little drawing book so that I could put my thoughts into drawing as well? Honestly, I wanted this art blanc notebook but it was expensive that I just decided to settle with a cheap one -- first.

SO. First, I'm not a good artist. I hate drawing but I love doodling. Second, I entitle this one as -- the world is chasing me. or I'm running away from the world. hahaha!
So here's a brief description. FYI, it's like I'm letting you peek into my journal. I just felt like there are tons of things to write so i just wanted to draw to express my frustration.

This is the exact thing I'm feeling right now. I just want to run away from the world. Run away and do things on my own without anyone interrupting me BUT I know it's going to be hard. So on the left side is the world that's chasing a little kid and the only way to escape is through hell. Can you believe that? haha.

So, have you ever felt that you just want to runaway. To escape reality and to leave everything behind to start anew.

I just wanted to know who I am and where I'm supposed to head. I know it's been years but I honestly want to be found cause I've been lost for a long time.

Or maybe, I just need to face the world.

PS: Is there anyone who reads this blog or something? Could you just tell me it's worth to write cause someone out there cares to read. Please.


Saturday, April 3, 2010


Wow. It's Black Saturday and in my honest opinion, I've done anything but productive. I'm downloading Matlab right now for my project that was announced a month ago but being the ever crammer.. I'm rushing it right now. Can you believe it? It's 3.3 GB and it's going to be taking FOR-E-VER to download this thing.

Here's my sentiment.

Have you ever done something with all your will and it just ends up like a crap. Cause I've been feeling that thing since I've started college. I've always set my eyes on a goal but it just goes somewhere where things should rot.


and I've been pissed for the past three years specially when I'm doing projects that are strangers to me.

That's why I've been starting to wonder if I'm meant to be here and I honestly don't know what I would do if this isn't the place I'm supposed to be in. It sucks. I just want to skip some steps and be where I could truly do what I'm supposed to.

and I'm still hoping that here's where I'm supposed to be.

And did you know how hard it is to fight Higher Power? The one that controls everything that's meant to be?


I just want to let go.

BTW. JENNA RICE - FARRO. i hate you.