Thursday, May 22, 2014

Doubt & Inadequacy

It's creeping in. It is slowly creeping in -- the doubt. The self-doubt whether I would make it. Would I? It's been almost two months since review started and I have failed miserable on exams. I failed to catch up on reading homeworks, I failed to continuously solve problems in Take Home Exams. I failed and it scares me.

Will I make it?

It's less than a week before GEAS and EST crash down on me and load me up with more information. I felt like I wasn't serious enough. I started doubting with my inadequacy.

I am lacking.

Aside from the fact that I can't keep myself from getting online and get myself lost on trivial matters, I can't get myself to study because I feel like I don't understand a thing.

Why am I undergoing these things again?

Oh, it's because I have a dream.

And what was I sacrificing for it?

So far, none.

And it sucks... BIG TIME.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

The stress that is graduation. :))

Usually people look forward to graduation but I, on the other hand, just want to get over with it. It's taking so much time.

Well it takes so much time because my school is lame. It doesn't conduct it's own pictorial and they don't fix the schedule so we might as well just go and find another place. I am still thinking on what to do with my creative shot or should I still do it? I have this clearance to fix and recollection to attend do. Maybe I'm just being a whiny bitch because I wanted to dedicate every available time for studying.

I feel very frustrated because I am not making it on Periodic Evaluation Examinations. This is probably due to the fact that I do not dedicate 100% of me to studying. Like now, I am on Facebook.. and here. But I'm on FB only because I have this pictorial thing I have to arrange. And it falls on a Friday.

Anyway. I just wanted to get this over with.

Oh, I still need to shop for a dress, shoes, accessories, hair products, make-up for grad. I'm doing my own make-up and hair cause the salon people have this tendency of overdoing things. When I graduated in highschool I looked like something I can't even describe. My face was so brown and it felt like I was wearing n layers of make-up. It didn't feel good.

So this graduation, I am doing my own make-up using my knowledge I've acquired through FB. I'm still thinking if I'd go thru with all the contouring.

So there. Time for Trig and Geometry.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Visionboard!

I already forgot that I searched for these things so I can make a vision board. It's been almost a year and I just finished making one. Well, electronically. :)) Hope all of these things happen. Hahaha!



Saturday, September 21, 2013

School Supply Haul For This Term.

Well, this is just actually the first batch of things I've bought for this term. I'm still looking forward to buying a whole lot more. Anyway, I love watching hauls at Youtube. I love watching organizing stuffs,too. I find solitude in watching. So here's my cheap share of jealousy. :)

video

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Ranting before midnight.

I am depressed again. I think. And I have this thing of being self-destructive when I'm depressed. I can't even pull myself together. Where do I go from here?

I feel bad right now. Like nothing makes sense. How do I even pull all of these together?

Friday, August 23, 2013

Down this pit

I am not well.
I feel bad.
I'm pissed.

It's such a shame that I have no one to tell those words.

What a life I live.

Friday, August 16, 2013

It's Friday, It's Friday.

I'm sitting on the same chair. Or not. I'm in front of the same monitor, probably typing on the same keyboard and clicking on the same mouse. I am here, pretending to be knowledgeable of things when in reality, I don't have a single clue on what I'm supposed to do. Thank god the deadline has been moved. I am alone when I'm supposed to be joined by two other brains, but no, I am alone and I cannot draw a single idea from my head. Anyway, we are closer to the end. Finals are fast approaching that I barely felt it passing. I mean, look, we are past half of August and three more weeks til the finals.

The saying that time does fly seems to be an understatement already. It's starting to be faster than speed of light.

So what should I put in this progress report? I've researched stuff but everything that I had known from this course is mixed up in my head. Hell, I even dream about it. Soooo...

It's just another Friday here on this chair.