Wednesday, December 5, 2012


Let me take this little time from my Laboratory Experiment 8 to pour my thoughts out.

Well, there's nothing inside my head so there practically nothing that can come out of it. No algorithms for this experiment. No codes. I don't even know how to do it considering on how late I was last lecture meeting.

He said this is going to be easy. Well, anything's easy for someone who has a doctorate or this massive knowledge in Matlab.

I just wish my brains can squeeze something out because I'd like to believe that there is still something in here. I just need to push myself  to do this. I can do this.

So there. That's like a couple of minutes typing rather than just staring at the monitor. My classmates probably think that I have been typing loads of codes when really, they are just thoughts.

Til the next laboratory failure.


Friday, November 23, 2012

No designated title :)

3PM -- In the library

"It stings a little for me,too."

Well, I'm not sure if that was the exact line in Awkward. The thought is. This is what came into my mind first.

I can't even count the times I've convinced myself that I am so over it.
So over it.

But I'm not.  I am so not.

There is still this pang of jealousy and betrayal all in one. Stroke right through my heart... or my hypothalamus. It just hit me straight again. After all these years.

It felt like it's still the same kind of pain. The kind of pain that didn't change throughout the years.

The kind of pain that made me a fool thinking that I have this chance on you. When obviously, I don't.

I fucking don't.


Wednesday, November 7, 2012


I don't know if my cheek can still handle all the slapping reality does to me lately.
Where on Earth is my life going? Nowhere. Nowhere in particular.

It's been a lazy week. (Past three days to be certain.). There was nothing productive in my life. AT ALL.

Sometimes I feel the guilt but most of the time I just accept that this is my destiny. It's my destiny to swim in the ocean of mediocrity.


I feel like I've been struggling against th tides for a long time that I am very much willing to taken away by the current now. Let's go with the tides.

See. I really don't know what I'm saying right now. Part of my brain is still asleep and still picturing myself deep in slumber on my cozy bed. This is the only site that is not banned by this computer so I am very much ranting in here.

So, what I really wanted to tell you is that I didn't get today's experiment again. I was able to get the values BUT my stupidity got in the way and when my work is about to be checked.... it had an error. (Yes, programming is what I'm describing) So, I'm not quite sure if I had a grade or not. Either way, I don't feel bad.

Because a part of me is thinking that I've done the best I can.


I'm numb by too much slapping.


Saturday, November 3, 2012

Essentials :)

For some weird reason, I just decided to post this one. Hahaha! So much for blogging. These are the things I bring to school everyday. They are my essentials since school is far from home. And this is me being a girl :)

1.COMPACT MIRROR—Jin’s gift for me some Christmas ago. It comes in handy when I have to check if I have anything on my lips right after I eat.

2.SAFETY PINS – Because you’ll never know when your zipper or buttons will betray you.

3.HAIR CLIPS – I have this constant battle with my hair… specially my bangs. So, I just gather my bangs with a clip when I’m not feeling the lugay day.

4.SCRUNCHIE – Again, the constant bad hair days are just pushing me to gather my hair some more. I also use this when I have to study at the library and I don’t need my hair to distract me from time to time.

5.SANITARY NAPKIN – Most of the time, my friends are the ones who get to use this during emergencies.

6.LULLABY  SKIN CARE WIPES – I often use this when I have to eat inside the FX and I don’t want to get my hands all dirty after. I get to use this too when I have to clean my shoes.

7.JOY POP-UP TISSUE – Because I’m a girl.

8.SAFEGUARD PURE WHITE BODY WASH – I usually have to deal with lead when I need to solder circuits. I need to wash my hands from time to time since I usually eat after school. I love this because it reminds me on how badly I want to take a shower right at any moment. It’s about its scent.

9.JOHNSON’S BABY POWDER – I sometimes have an oily face. No, actually I just got jealous of a friend who uses loose powder for her face. This type suits me better because it doesn’t come too white for my face.

10.LEWIS & PEARL  SWEET PARIS – I just wear cologne in school because I’m partly cheap. I got this scent right after I saw Jasmine Curtis’ advertisement on television. Yes, advertisements are that powerful.

11.NIVEA FRUITY SHINE (STRAWBERRY) – I have been loyal to this product for years! Out of the lip balms I have tried, I think nothing have compared to the service Nivea gives me. It gives the right amount of shine for long hours. It doesn’t sit awkwardly on my lips, too. It gives a hint of red not too dark for a sunny day.

12. SANSAN GLOSSY LIPS – A gift from my aunt. I like the shade because it’s light and not too dark. It smells like car-freshener. I like this because it doesn’t give so much gloss. At least not the one that looks awkward on my lips.

13.HAIR CLAMP – When I’m too lazy to even check myself out on the mirror, I just gather my hair with this.

14.SANSAN HYDRATING COLOR DEW – It’s a lipstick. I swipe it on my lips when I feel like a girl. Mostly when I’m in a good mood. It just gives the right amount of pink for the day.

15.BANDAID ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL – I use alcohol before and after I eat. I had this habit when there was a case of H1N1 at DLSU.

Pencil Case, oh Pencil Case

 1.CRYSTAL WATER BASE PEN 0.4 in Green, Purple, Sky Blue, Pink and Brown
2.LOTUS, Clickster Stik 0.8mm in Black
3.LOTUS, Bright, 0.6mm in Lilac, Lime, Charcoal and Cherry
4.Pink with blue lines stick note
5.Undo Pocket Corrector
6.FABER CASTELL Polymer Fine Lead 0.7,2B
7.Binder Clip
8.DONG-A JET Stick in Orange, Green and Yellow
9.ZEBRA New Hard in Red
10.M&G Co-Open 0.7mm in Black
11.PILOT FINE in Black and Blue
12.FABER CASTELL Mechanical Pencil, 0.7mm
13.ORIONS 6” ruler
15.SCRIPTI Stick Note
16.PENTEL Eraser

Monday, October 29, 2012

'Tis the season to be wishing...

Christmas season is almost here. The air almost brings you closer to it.
I don't know if it's tradition or the frustration that makes me write what I want every Christmas.
So before October ends, here are the things I want for Christmas. I will save for these things. :)

1. Earpods. 
Well, I could settle to any Apple earphones but this is the latest craze. I need new earphones to replace my old ones. The two year old ones. I don't know if I'm starting to be deaf but I'd like to think that my earphones aren't working at its best anymore.

2. Ear pierce.
I don't know how many times I've had my ears pierced but everytime I do, I just let it close. Thus, I want to have my ears pierced again because earrings are one of the basic accessories today. And I have this feeling that it brings out a good angle of my face. Yeah, I don't even know if what I  said make any sense.

3. Red Lipstick
Since I am turning twenty three next year, I do want to finally explore and out myself on being a girly girl because I know that I am. I love everything about this picture. I think it's time to rock and invest on good make up. Specially on red lipstick that goes to anything about anytime. PS:I love her blue nails.

4. Knit Jeans
Or jeggings. I think that's how they call it. I think skinny jeans are out and knit jeans are the perfect thing to wear to bring out the figure of your legs. Not that my legs have a great figure. Anyway, knit jeans are perfect in any loose top since that's what I love to wear. And, I think it's easy to pair with flats, sneakers or heels.

And thus, the saving begins.

And that abs will always be on my list.


Friday, October 5, 2012

When you try your best but you don't succeed.

This is the line for the day.
Two songs of Coldplay are stuck in my head.
This line shouts louder than the other.
And I feel like I am stuck in reverse right now.
A little words for you younger Ayeen,
Don't let the failure of short term goals get in the way of the long term goals.

Let's just say that this day is about to be brighter. Hopefully. Fingers tied tightly.

I miss watching series.


Sunday, July 22, 2012

One. Two. Three.

From my LJ. Haha.

The Lost Skill

To write or not to write?

I guess, that's the question.

I don't know why I'm deciding to put this here. These thoughts could be somewhere else. It could have been on my LJ but something tells me it's supposed to be here.

To write or not to write?

I don't know how many times I've passed up on opportunities that involved writing. There goes a friend's offer of taking writing lessons over the summer. There's this Writer's Guild organization I'd registered for but never really attended a single meeting. There's this school publication qualification exam I turned my back on because I thought there are more important things than writing very very long articles that will probably take so much of my time.

There are also these stupid stories in my head that were never really finished. Some of them just vanished without even reaching a paper. Some of them, I just decide it's not worth continuing anymore.

There goes the thought of writing again. The thought of finally accomplishing something tangible. A book. A book that is somehow related to me.

Then, there goes the asking. To write or not to write?

I just don't know if I'm good enough to finally materializing this idea. A part of my brain is telling me that this will be just one of those things that will turn out to be a total crap.

Do I really have this skill in writing like my friends tell me? Or are they just being friends telling me that I am good enough.

Why am I here for?

Is writing one of them?

Am I suppose to share a part of myself through writing? Could I possible trade numbers for words?

To write or not to write?

That is the question.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Wednesday Trouble

Nothing's left and nothing's right

 Everything seems to be a pain in sight

 Enveloped by darkness not a faint of light

Still trying to believe in something bright.