Friday, November 24, 2006

bakit ngayon pa??

note: let's keep this real. TAGALOG would be the medium i'll be using in telling a wonderful story in this entry.(weird.) hope that anna would read this.. (BFF!! ) whoo0hoo..

bakit ganun? dati parang i want to get out of highschool, pero nung napansin ko na may gusto ako kay "money" (itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang iyon) parang napaisip na ako na.. three to four months na lang. tapos.. wala na. ggraduate na ako. alam ko na nung feeling ng friend ko nung may crush siyang senior last year. tapos naman ako.. ako nung senior siya nung....basta!
ang swerte swerte pa ng girlfriend niya (kung sila pa rin!). haha. kasi nung guy na yun, dati ko pa siya kilala, pero parang lately ko lang nanotice. ewan ko. dahil siguro sa mga aksidendenteng "eye contacts". weird. usually ganun tlga nung mga nagugustuhan ko, ewan ko kung bakit.
super talented niya.sobrang talino tapos ewan ko... may itsura siya e. nung miyerkules ko lang na natuklasan na may crush ako sa kaniya tapos feel ko ngayon parang alam niya na. si anna and angel pa nga lang sinabihan ko 2day e. TODAY hah. kasi kanina parang nakaupo lang siya dun. tapos nagpaslamat ako at andun pa siya..tapos parang bigla siyang yumuko na something. anu yun.. ayaw niyang makita ko siya. samantalang dati nasa harap ko na siya wala pa akong pake sa kaniya kasi nga hindi ko pa siya napapansin na ewan. tapos ngayon.. ay ewan. ang amo amo pa ng face niya. wait. suuper obvious na ba nung mga desriptions dito?? eh anu naman! as if naman mababasa niya to, wala naman sa itsura niya nung willing magsurf para lang sa isang walang kwentang blog ko.. haha!! ang weird talaga. sana araw araw ko siya makita. kanina nga nakita ko siya e, dumaan siya sa harap kO! e kaso kinakausap ako ni angepepot kaya yan tuloy. hindi ko napansin.. hmp!

anageom class sinabi ko kay anna. una hinulaan niya ng hinulaan tapos nagbigay ako ng clue... okay CLUES. tapos sinabi niya nung name na pabulong "si * first name* *last name*?" then napasmile ako.. then siya kilig then "oh my gaaad!"
pero mas malala nung kay angelica. nung after na nung CAT yun e. sa may parking lot dun sa bus namen.
tapos sabi ko sa kniya. nung "baka ako nung pangatlo.." then sabi niya.."haha! oo nga noh, sino kaya nung magiging crush mo" tapos nung pabulong type sa kniya.. sabi ko" meron na.." tapos siya.." sinoo?? meron na?" tapos i want some place na walang gaanong tao.. so sabi niya dun sa bus niya.. e di on the way na kame dun.. tapos binulong ko sa kniya.. kilala mo ba si *first name* *last name*.. parang siya"oh my gaaaaddd!!!" as in nung shock na gnun. tinanong ko.. gwapo ba.. sabi niya "OO!" haha..

wala lang..
i'm smiling now.
weird.
god! i'm so open..
bakit kaya??

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

why can't i just admit it?

what a day. first, someone just appeared in my dream. yeah! and he was damn smiling in there. so i woke up smiling. so we had our long test in ES. i suck. yes, you've got it. it was not as bad as my first plate but i think i did bad. oh wait, my mom said i should stop saying negative things cause it might come true. funny, my biological mom and my mom in the clique said that. good thing, i woke up happy so the "bad trip" did not soak in me.

tomorrow is thursday. crap, we need to practice for the wncaa cheering. the seniors are required to attend. they have moved the bivouac(whatever the spelling of that word) next year because of the wncaa, so it is an official activity.
yesterday was ptc and... i won't be going up the stage this quarter. sad sad sad. but i don't actually feel super bad and the inferior feeling i used to have everytime i see my name DOWN there. haha!. i miss the old me. the happy me who doesn't care where she stands. but little by little i'm trying to go to the BRIGHT side. many things should make me happy.

oh by the way, here's the real story for this entry. i think. THINK. i may like somebody new. and the bad thing is... he's kind of younger than me but not super young. i think he has a girlfriend. why does that always happen to me? it's when i like someone.. then later on i will find out that.. o0o0opppss, he's taken. Then there are others that he's taken then.. o0o0opppss, i like him. damn. but i only like ONE person. as in the solid type LIKE. (you get me, don't you?) and he's older... (okei i'm totally telling secrets in here!). hmmm.. i usually like people who are so0o0.. HARD to reach. hmp!! it's either he's uber rich?, uber smart? or just uber mature or just.. hard to reach. i'm not really the kind of person who approaches first. cause it's... kind of complicated for me. oh, well.. the NEW one won't last long.. i know that for sure..

YES, that's true. that's what i said the last time and i totally don't have the "kilig" factor with him. oh, weird. i'm blabbing nonsense things..

i'll just stick with logan echolls...

by the way. why is everyone irritated this day? crap. this day must really suck. okay then.. i still have a music report to do. do i?? haha!! tomorrow's convocation. and as i've said, i won't be coming up the stage anymore. wait wait wait.

who made me addicted this day?

"it's like i can't breathe
it's like i can't see anything
nothing but you..
i'm addicted to you
it's like i can't think
without you interrupting me.
in my thoughts in my dreams
you've taken over me..
it's like i'm not ME"

wait. why does my friends love the junior guys?
trisha likes *toot*
delro loves *toot*
nyek. dalawa lang pala. baka ako na nung pangatlo. haha!! joke.

...let's just hope no jahgonal member would read this.or else they would really do anything to know something... smelling fishy.
funny.

toodles.

Monday, November 20, 2006

maybe.

is it just me or life really seems so hard? i'm just sixteen and i feel like i've already done the BIGGEST mistake in my life. it looks like i've already had the HUGEST regret. no unless i'm really going to die soon then it's true, i've met my biggest mistake.

it's just that. i thought they would understand. when i say that i have a problem. when say that i'm not emotionally stable. i thought they are going to reach out their hand. but no, i was so wrong. i guess what they say is true "madaming namamatay sa maling akala"
when i said i was depressed that i need psychological help, they thought that i could not be depressed cause i'm living A life. but they don't understand. they really don't. then they blame the thing that makes me happy. they say it's wrong. then if things that makes me happy are the wrong things, i just don't want to be right. would you throw away something that makes you smile in the middle of the day. something that puts energy in you every morning. something that gives you the reason to wake up early. would i throw that away.

one thing i don't understand. you're not perfect yourselves. then why do you push things that i should be like this and like that?? hanggang doon lang nung grade ko. may magagawa ka pa ba?

"trying hard to reach out but everytime i speak out, felt like no one could here me. i wanted to belong here but SOMETHING FELT SO WRONG HERE..."

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

.me against the world.

does the people around me just gets smarter or is it me being dumber? there are things that made me look super dumb today.
first. i just got a 81 in my csat. (stupid, stupid ayeen.). how could i have a grade like that? if i got 81 in bene? what else could i possibly get in la salle, ateneo and up? uh. so frustrated. good thing i'm trying to live on the positive side.
second. my social studies grade. though i think i got 90. i don't know. it's like i got the lowest score. i swear. everyone whom i've asked or have heard they all got higher scored than me. hmp! so frustrating.
third. i still suck at es. GOD, help me.

one thing made me happy:
i got a 95 in Filipino. oh, well. you don't know how hard is it to get a line of nine in Filipino nowadays.

one month to go. and it's simbang gabi. even if my schedule would be uber hectic since there are a lot of stuffs on the way. my quarter exams (which would fall on the 15th,18th and 19th.). the alumni party thingy. (it will fall on the 16th.) and then there's the investigatory project (which would be submitted on the 10th and 14th). wow. they really think we're super heroes huh? so i guess i need to maximize time and forget logan for a moment. as if that's gonna happen. i wake up 4 in the morning just to watch and see him! by the way, i miss nathan! anna got my three-season dvd. SHOUT TO ANNA. i miss my dvds. :-)

i so want to watch season 4 of oth and season 3 of vmars. waaaaahh!! someone made me an addict.

"you do your best to show me love but you don't know what love is"

toddles :-)

Monday, November 13, 2006

at the end of the day.

you know what's great about school? If you're like me who is frustrated in making the grade, you'll love school because at the end of the day there is always something to talk about in your blog.
so. i screwed physics. i'm scared because i don't know if it was easy or i was too dumb not to answer it all correctly. i got my answers all wrong. physics is something that no matter how hard you study you still end up thinking. you don't memorize in physics. YOU DO THINK and ANALIZE things. but hopefully i could use that analization skills when i get to college. all i need is positivity. could someone give me that. oh well, it's nine pm and i still have tests tomorrow. i should be really running right now.
oh, by the way, i had the worst eyebags ever. i swear. i have been scared the moment i had looked in the mirror.
hmp.
there's no way screwing math. i'm good at math. and it's not something that just disappear as you enter senior high. i know that "goodness" is still within me. all i have to do is search for it inside of me. i miss my first year days when i don't have to study and yet i get a high high high grade. wait. i never had an uber high grade in math. i forgot. well, i'm gonna miss these days. i wish.

"to love and win is the best thing. to love and lose, the next best"

toodles.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

again and again.

when can i finally push myself to the limit? i had this another plan which predictably failed. oh no! i'm gonna nail this one. i swear. let's see if i still get 8's in here or 7s for that matter. i am really going to be... MISERABLE?

so i still need to finish this filipino thing and i still have assignment in ES. refer to my friendster blog about the ES crap.

that's all. i just love my new layout. even though i did not make it. who cares though? it's the thought that counts.

that's my motto from now on.

"there are two tragedies in life. One is to lose you heart's desire and the other is to gain it." -Shaw

Saturday, November 11, 2006

it's us.

grades will always be a part of us. it's us, we are grade conscious people.. and it will always be us..

tama ba spelling ng conscious (?). forgive me. i'm blank right now and... i'm dumb.

toodles :p