TRYING TO PAINT THE PICTURE

The only that was wrong with me is that I always felt that I don't have any rights at all.

THE STORM STARTS HERE.

I've been writing lyrics for a while now and it's becoming a good habit. good? Anyway, I've been telling my lovely friends that I would learn the piano, guitar and vocals in three days. hahaha! HOPEFUL. I would probably end up cleaning the whole house because Ydette is such an inspiration.

Here's a couple of lines from the song I'm trying to make.
SAD SONG

do you remember
when i used to put you to sleep
you'll think about her
and you'll tell me something deep

i know
you're out of misery
that doesn't mean
you could criticize me
with bliss, you try to sing along
but i'll always be your little sad song

anna! go do some music while I open youtube with how to play the piano chords and how to play the guitar! i'll get my guitar that's with my neighbor!

and shoutout to anyone who does music.
bow to you.

i'm sad.
stors just starts here.

hope i survive.

:|ayeenatienza

SINCE I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN THE LONGES TIME.

Before this bliss gets rubbed off by some familiar misery, I would just write something under the clouds.

Hm. I honestly feel I haven't blogged in ages for some reason I don't know. Maybe because I've been pouring out the anger, happiness, regret, misery and all other emotions on making a song. And just to let you know I've made three songs already-- no tune yet so maybe it's not yet a song. and and and. i got myself a SONG JOURNAL! how amazing is that?

Speaking of songs. I've been listening to some VersaEmerge songs lately and I'm totally in love with Moments Between Sleep and The Authors. There's something about Ciara's voice that is different and I like it. Makes me want to be more of a vocalist on some band that's going to be popular over at youtube. Oh well, I'm dreaming on! I'm a singer in the first place. haha! And I'm memorizing Broken wings by heart. From what I;ve heard it's from Flyleaf's 2000 EP, meaning the song will be 10 years in a year. hu-wow! what about that? But I've listened to the song last 2007 over at my friend's new phone--back then. And I was like.. Is this Flyleaf? It's totally Lacey's voice.

And still speaking of songs. I just heard Paramore's single from the upcoming album, BRAND NEW EYES,Brick by Boring Brick. Awesome. I already told my friend about this-- There's just something about this song that makes me feel different. Specially on the bridge part! And its chorus is LSS material. "So go get a shovel and we'll dig a deep hole to bury the castle. bury the castle." I honestly don't know what it means but hey, it's good. I really can't wait for this album thought Ignorance was a bit harsh and I found it hard to rock and head bang with the lyrics. Hey, don't blame me.. I'm really a lyrics person. Spells deep, man. Deep! hahaha!

I'm up for reading another Kinsella novel. Remember Me. My friend is asking me to read it before the movie goes out. Robert Pattinson will be there and I don't exactly know what to feel. I don't like him! I mean I adore him as Cedric and okay as Edward at first and then she started going out to every co-star which I should absolutely have no business about but it's just so--- weird and flirty and. okay I'll stop now. So I really hope that I could read it this term break thought I know I'd probably be sticking my face on the monitor and hug the keyboard! YAY!

And I've got tons of stories in my head but I'm secretly publishing two. haha! you won't find that. I swear. :D


I'm about to say something else but I totally forgot. darn.
oh yes. not worth talking about it online. maybe i should preserve all the crappy personal stuff for my diary. It's not even halfway full even if it's the ninth month already. wow. now i just realized that.

Oh well!! cheers to home alone! I'm along tonight everyone's out doing some happy things with their lives and I'm here in front of the computer for the third time in this day!! Chatting with my highschool buddies whom I haven't seen in ages.

I'll see you tom!
WE'LL TALK ABOUT BOYS! hahaha!

"It's amazingly strange how we all seem to change"

:)ayeenatienza

I'M OBSESSED!

FINE! but i just couldn't help but to know their story. I know it's really none of my business and I shall respect their privacy or something but I don't go stalking them anyway or something. But--I just couldn't help myself.

So here are some of the pictures I found over at a site my good friend, Trisha Zayco, introduced me to. God, it's so addictive and some things are mean!

BTW, Josh and Hayley admitted they dated until fall of 2007.
AWESOMENESS!



MAN. awwww! :)

THIS. I WANT . I WANT. I sighed as soon as I saw this picture! :D hahaha! I LOVE THEM! they make good music together.



AND THIS MADE MY HEART BEAT EVEN MORE. Emo much. hahaha! God, they really have been in love. It's really precious to see two people who are really on love. I don't care if it's young love or anything. I still love the both of them!

THIS SO JUST SO FUNNY! The picture is a date to Melting Pot and Hayley brought Chad there! hahaha! I love this. :D


Awwww...



and there's more coming up! hahaha!

I apologize for anyone who will get irritated or pissed off or anything negative. :D

Source: Parasecrets.

:)ayeenatienza

heart breaking...

"Can't make my own decisions or make any with precision
Well maybe you should tie me up so I don't go where you don't want me
You say that I been changing, that I'm not just simply aging"



"If God's the game you're playing, then we must get more acquainted,
It must be so lonely... to be the only one who's holy
It's just my humble opinion, but one I firmly believe in
You don't deserve a point of view, if the only thing you see is you. "

--it's hurtful dear. he's too good to keep your words alive.the perspective is fresh but i don't know if i'm going to love it. but if every sad song is about him i'll risk the hearing and breaking. so what i read might be true. your brand new eyes might be about loving someong and hating him...

:'( Goodnight.

AW!

"When you finally decide it's worth the pain.
I'm here. I never went anywhere
Growing older, I never thought that I
Would look back and not regret a thing "

--that is totally saaaddd! I'll just hug you if you're close. Seven Years in The Making. I'll wait til i hear it.

IGNORANCE

i have been reading too much fanfictions lately and i have read a part and realized at the same time that..

BRAND NEW EYES

may be about

loving chad

and

hating JOSH.


:| that would totally break me. :)

BUZZZZing over at Buzznet. :D

WHY IT JUST DOESNT FIT.

Aw. I hate this feeling. I hate the feeling of seeing two people so perfect for each other but not ending up together. You know what I mean. It's not really the "end" yet but it just sucks that they're not together. It's just like a puzzle fits so right but the picture doesn't really fit. No, scratch that. The picture is perfect too. Ugh. I hate it. He obviously care. I mean come on. And I don't know what happened to her.

I wish perfect picture puzzles were just easy to maintain. And I hate how the eyes can say so much of ones inner thoughts.... or feelings.

It's like Justin and Britney, Bea and John Lloyd, Ella and Wu Zun or Josh and Hayley.

It just makes sense and yet it doesn't.

:| oh. ayeenatienza

My Heart...

damn. i just finished watching some of the final riot performances. PARAMORE rocked my night and i promised that i would just check my damn mails but i end up watching because twitter is dowwnnn!! and i wouldn't be able to express on how much i have fallen for Josh Farro! I heart you! hahaha!! I'm just drawn to him! Really! hahaha! I love their sincerity in music. I feel it here with my earphones! darrrnnn!

So anyway. I have set up standards for new crushes and likes!! Josh's fault. I want someone who has sense of humor but not the one that everyone likes.. i don't want them to be OVERLYFRIENDLY! hate that. hahaha! Specially when they treat you really sweet and then expect nothing from you! THAT'S TOTAL CRAP!! don't make any connection if you don't want to!! you're just wasting someone else's affection!! but i don't want them to be snob either.

I want a musician who can write songs. Words may be flowery but i want those that touch my soul. ugh. i wanna know how he feels.. through writing. i was browsing through some blogs a while ago and i have read something about being apart from the girl. god, i felt his pain! specially that line where he said "Since when did loving me become such a fucking chore? I never looked at it that way, but she thinks that she has to work to keep my love with only her." damn. it hit me.

so all that i am trying to say here is.. I'm totally smitten by Josh! seriously. he's like my newest addiction although my eyes met him years ago in monitor screens and tv screens and earphones and prints and everything else. but it just hit me now.

So twitter.. you suck! I wanna tweet about this: I wish it's your voice that's singing me to sleep. you're my lullaby. and i wanna see you in my dream! i'm obsessed. haha! kidding. i'd prefer addicted!

you made me happy tonight. i might be sad when i wake up.
it scares the hell out of me.


i write to remember.

:)ayeenatienza

Throwing Punches

I have been feeling a bit sad lately. Oh. When did I ever feel so happy? You know what? That's the bad thing about being happy. When you're happy.. you just have to look forward to that bad thing that's just about to happen. Just like what I have heard in the radio... "You can never just be happy." Cause you can't certainly have have everything.. something has to really messed your life up.

So anyway, I don't know if I'm just reading too many books lately or I've been taken away by this stupid story I'm making in my head. I just feel down? I feel like I should have tons of stuff in my hands but I just can't feel anything.

and I just feel so inferior.
and I've never felt this inferior in my whole life.

:( sad.

btw, I'm making a story in my head that I can relate to the song "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift. But the two girls are sister and one is hilarious! as well as the guy. hahaha!

You're so hateful sometimes
Throwing punches at lies
Fall from somewhere above
Just to say you're in love

I KNOW IT HURTS BUT I REALLY HAVE TO.

"You know I love you, I really do
But I can't fight anymore for you


The way you're holding on to me
Makes me feel like I can't breathe
Just let me go, just let me go
It just won't feel right inside
God knows I've tried"
--In Another Life/ The Veronicas

i used to hate them, the people who left us hanging, the people who left us in a time where we needed them the most. but i can't sacrifice this much just for you... I'm sorry, i have to think of myself... for the mean time and when i get myself back to stability... I will come back and I hope that you're doors would still be open cause I'd never stop believing but I've got to stop fighting... for now.

LISTENING SOME SOUND IN MY EAR.

cause i won't run around after you...

OVER.

Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

ALL I DID.

man. all i did for these past two days is to watch these three people in Devil Beside You and Why Why Love. There is even a time when I'm watching both. It's really comic with its own dramatic twists. I prefer Devil Beside You better :D

Both of the guys have chemistry with the girl which makes the choice harder. haha!!

They have two dramas together.

AND I WANT ELLA CHEN AND WU CHUN TO HAVE ANOTHER DRAMA TOO!!!

Ariel Lin and Joe Cheng have three dramas together.

I WON'T BE ASKING FOR HANA KIMI 2.

i just want ella and wu chun together :D

utak naman PO!

okay. ang tawag dito. blog. this is a place where someone is free to express his or her feelings. itong blog na to under my name... ibig sabihin, may karapatan akong magkwento ng kwentong nais kong ikwento.

kasi that's how blog works.

you know what i really hate in a person? well, there's a lot of things i really hate but one of them is when you let people see na pinagkakaisahan ka, inaapi ka well in fact... HINDI NAMAN TALAGA! oh c'mon. lahat naman ng mga taong under sa situation mo nakakaranas ng ganyan!!!! so gusto mo special treatment sayo?

i believe my batch president had been flexible already--true enough as my former governor has said, she has compromised already---more than on what she should have.

and if it is your plan to drive the president,whom our batch had elected, insane... carry on. WE will just be behind her back and as well as the batch that elected her in that position.

and if REVENGE is what you speak... EXCUSE ME LANG! kung tutuusin naman wala naman kaming ginagawa sa inyo. too much of you to speak of revenge when all we've ever asked is

A JUST AND FREE SOCIETY.

This is a blog. this is MY blog. All thoughts that run in my mind---i put it in here. and you're always free to read and react.

As far as i see. There's nothing wrong on what you see as wrong ----JUST AN OPINION.

This is My blog.
This is what i feel.

:)

LOVE OR BREAD.

JOE wrote a letter to ARIEL during her birthday and he said something about working already in three dramas and i was wondering what the third one was. and i found it!

LOVE OR BREAD. A series where Ariel Lin was supposed to be the lead girl role but cannot make it because she had to do another drama so it was given to Barbie but had to back out because of schedule conflicts so the series was given back to Ariel because the drama she's supposed to make had been cancelled. so once again... ARJOE!

wooo! i love them and the series is really different even if i am currently just watching the half of the first episode.

their acting here is really different from the kiss series so it's a must watch because you will really ROLL because of laughter. :D

MORNING RIDE.

as usual it was raining. i went to school to have meeting with the SC's Executive Secretary and her Operations chairperson.
I dragged myself to go there because it was really raining and it was cold.
Since i'm the ever "i-can't-let-you-down" girl, i still pushed for the plan. How lucky was I to be still able to get the front passenger seat even if it was freezing cold.

i had a ride with these bunch of nursing students and they were talking about their lives and other peoples lives. It's really amazing when you're with a company of friends...you totally forget the existence of the world outside your circle.

they were really talking loud because there were five of them and three had to sit in the middle and the other two at the back.

Their chat was a usual girl chat. BOYS and the lives of the PRETTY MEAN GIRLS who get the hot guys!

They said that they didn't like that their duty had to be in Lawton. They said it was far. We were in Baclaran when one of the girls said, "bakit parang ang layo naman ng nilalakbay natin?" it was loud enough for me to hear. i swear. :)

I said to myself, not loudly of course, "hindi naman malayo ah.". But maybe just because i got used to it.

Later on we were already in Vito Cruz and I am just about to get off the FX when one of the girls said.."Ay, malapit na yata tayo...alam ko na to.. alam ko na to.."

No hija, malayo ka pa!! sa ulan na yan at sa traffic. MALAYO ka pa.

so once i was off the vehicle i murmured to myself..

ALAM MO NGA KUNG SAAN KA PUPUNTA PERO ANG MAHIRAP DUN, HINDI MO ALAM KUNG PAANO KA MAKAKARATING DUN.....AT HINDI MO ALAM KUNG KAILAN.

*you know where you're going but the hard thing is, you don't know how to get there....and you don't know when (you will get there.)*

so that was the lesson i have learned this day. crappy but useful somehow.

i kind of relate to it.

SKINWHITE.

i was looking for Pond's new 10-peso product but i couldn't find it so i just decided to try skin white's product since i only have 20 bucks in my wallet and i feel that i need to buy something.

so i tested the product right after i took a shower because of too much heat! and it's good. its promise of non sticky residue is true! it turns to powder too! i bought the light beige. it's a nice base for make up and i hope that i could be whiter in 7 days!!

hmmm. i can't wait. :D

GO FIGHT FOR IT!

i haven't been listening to the radio for the past weeks because i always arrive home either past nine or past ten in the evening so i really don't have time to catch up with the boys over at Magic.

I had the chance to listen to the radio yesterday and I really loved Elliot Yamin's Fight for Love. I love its lyrics! it is so meaningful, just like his so "One Word" which i really loved too.

I'm ecstatic
I feel the magic
It's everlasting
I think that you were meant to be alive on this very night
With me
I see, it clearly
The dream you hear about
and never truly think its realistic till it blows your mind
I never thought i could understand
I was searching me
and now i finally see

[chorus]
I see that some people fight for love
They stick with it
Just can't quit it
Some people hide from love
they run from it, cause they don't want it
When you got a love and its good like it should be
Makes you never wanna give it up
cause you know that some people fight for love
And I believe it's true cause I'd do the same for you

You're the reason, the air I'm breathing
so don't go leaving
cause loving you is the only thing that ever really touched my soul
I'm protective, of my blessings
Glad I kept it
I never really thought about the future till i saw my life
Finding it's purpose
so very worth it
And now I know that love is really worth it


And that's why,Some people fight for love
They stick with it
Just can't quit it
Some people hide from love
They run from it, cause they don't want it
When you got a love and it's good like it should be
Makes you never wanna give it up
Cause you know that some people die for love
And I believe it's true cause I'd do the same for you

It's hard to be, and good to keep
And once you're with it, it's hard to leave
You can't help but run wild with imagination
It'll change you life from wrong or right
And then you'll touch, touch the sky,
And now I don't see how I made it through the night

But I see how there's some people who fight
Some people fight for love
They stick with it
just can't quit it
Some people hide from love
They run from it, cause they don't want it
When you got a love and it's good like it should be
Makes you never wanna give it up
Cause you know that some people die for love
And I believe it's true cause I'd do the same for you

Some people fight for love,
(I don't wanna do it no more)
Some people hide from love,
(It just feels so good)
But when you got a love and it's good like it should be
Makes you never wanna give it up
Cause you know that
Some people fight for love

MARTYR.

CHEN XIN YI.

i have been watching Fated To Love You over at Mysoju.com and i'm quite hooked to it. There's nothing i could say to this girl because she is so kind. She may be weak in the eyes of others but letting go of someone you truly love is really hard.

After entering the wrong room one drunken night at a cruise ship, something happened between Xin Yi and a stranger. That night made their lives change 360.

I admire her character because she's willing to give anything even if it will hurt her. She warns the person when she's about to fall and let go if he chooses to. I cried when her baby died! She's optimistic about things and always think of herself last.

hmmm...
sometimes, you should always leave something for yourself.

*i'm sorry i can't think straight. i'll edit this if i have decided.