We Turn 4 :)

May 24, 2011. JJADM, my dear college circle, just turned 4 yesterday! Happy to be included in this circle. We had differences but they didn't get in the way of our dear friendship.







Taken during Jang's 20th birthday over at Sambokujin. :)

I MISS THEM ALREADY!

GWAPO!

From Mario Maurer's Twitter:
ohohmario | mario
This shirt For my fans in Philippine:)

My KathBie appreciation entry :)

Albie's 18th Birthday at the Casino Residence.
KathBie love ♥



CTO: www.twitter.com/#!/rinaleecasino

IT'S THAT POINT IN MY LIFE

...where I think I should start making lists. Lifetime lists, everyday lists, goal lists. Just lists.

And I wonder if this should have been in my LJ.

Today...

.. God answered a prayer.

I prayed that I could wake up one morning and be true to the people around me. I prayed I could wake up and be true to myself.

And today, God made it possible.

He made it possible through the words of someone that I heard today.

I smiled.

These are the truest people I've ever met.

And I'm glad God placed me there.

Happy to be Tapat.

YESTERDAY.

March 22, 2011

It’s creeping to four in the morning. I’m still awake and I don’t know why. I don’t even know what I want anymore and how am I going to surpass this all. It’s crazy. One minute you exactly know what you want and the next minute you’re lost. I don’t know which way to go.

How do you exactly turn your back to something that keeps calling?

Love is hard to catch nowadays.

Days are long and nights are even longer. Too bad, love isn’t like a flu that is easy to catch. There are times when loneliness outruns me in the race of life and being alone seems like a torture. In these desperate times, I turn to the only entertainment I know, television. Oh I am in love with television.

There are a lot of loveteams that were able to make me hyper to the point that I feel in love at that moment too. There’s John Lloyd and Bea, Mark and Jennylyn, Matt and Melissa, Lauren and AJ,and even the controversial Josh and Hayley, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never been this fangirl in my whole life.

I want you to meet, Kathryn and Albie, or KATHBIE as their fans call it (ahem, I’m one of them). These two people portray the roles of Mara and Christian in the top primetimes show, Mara Clara.

As I watch their story I kept asking myself, what the hell was I doing in highschool? Why didn’t I attempt to make a good character of a lovestory out of myself? Now my diary’s empty and no one seems to make me smile during those times.
Going back to the loveteam I adore. Mara and Christian’s first scene already caught my eye. Aside from the fact that Christian’s appeal is undeniably hard to resist, their chemistry is what got me. I mean just seeing them standing side by side each other can make me smile like a total idiot that’s never been in love. Oh wait, that’s true. I know it may seem so shallow but it’s really hard to keep all the kiligness to self. THEY ARE JUST SO FREAKING AWESOME and adorable! I just love them right now. And I would honestly like to say that these two people, these two characters, are what got me through my previous frustrations. – guys I only had halfway. And we all know that those kind of guys are the hardest to forget.
The story starts when Mara moved in to a private school as a scholar. Right before meeting the school’s basketball superstar, Mara met this guy who tried to shoplift a bracelet. Mara stops the guy from succeeding and save him from getting caught at the same time. And it was riot from that time as the guy refuses to be grateful to Mara and instead, he said he’ll never forget her face. A few days later, they meet eye to eye again at AAA’s basketball court. That guy was Christian. Being a certified bully, Christian continues to pester Mara but this girl never gave in. A few more episodes later, someone fell for another. Christian found himself defending the constant damsel in distress, helping her with getting a work, not get bullied by others and winning an election. Christian fell for Mara.

And it’s not only Mara who fell for Christian, every girl who watched their story did.

So I never mean for this entry to be this long. All I really wanted to share is that they are now the love of my life and seeing the current episodes just kill me. REALLY. They had Mara dead! But if you’re really a fan , you’ll know that that is crappiest thing ever. Seriously.

I hope their loveteam lasts.

ENTRY # 176

For some unknown reason, I was always fascinated by pen and paper. If I go to a bookstore, I make sure I come out of it with either a new pen or a new paper.

And sometimes it makes me sad to just let it go.

Whatever the unknown reason is.

In between choices.

I never really understood when someone shuts some people, important people, out of their life. They do this with the words "I need to find myself." I honestly didn't understand that. Why? Do people really get to the point of being lost?

Yes. I think they do. This is exactly what I've been feeling for the last days. I've done something terrible and I think I'm suffering the consequences right now. I always try to tell the important people in my life that I am where I am supposed to be. That God has still that future ahead of me --which I still believe is true. I've survived a month with positive thoughts and I had a lot of desires burning in my heart until misery caught up with me. Can I not really outrun negativity?

I am lost right now. I know I've said it before but I honestly feel like crap. I'm trying to convince everyone that it's okay. I try to convince myself every morning that things will fall into place. But I still feel like crap.

And I guess that's why people re-build their walls. Keep every people out again and get to know themselves a little more. I just want to be away from the lives of the people I treasure and once I treasured. I want to walk out of their lives because I feel so down and I don't want to pretend in front of them anymore. Maybe the lying is what makes it so difficult. Lying that everything is alright -- when it's obviously not.

I once told a friend that I am going to delete my Twitter and Tumblr down. And maybe I'll get Facebook too. I just feel so bad right now I don't want anyone seeing what's happening in my life. I will walk again into their lives when I'm up again. When I've decided who I want to be. When I've finally outrun negativity.

I'll go back when I'm whole again.

When I've finally found myself.

I know it sounds crap. So please, forgive me.

Short Hair, Check!

I had a haircut over at Bench Fix Salon last week and I am quite contented with the outcome. It's been a week and it still has its volume. :)

BTW, I want this haircolor. And I'm still thinking whether to have this or brown. :|



Kang Hae-Na, My Fair Lady (2010)

Your eyes. Your eyes.

So, today I've watched clips over at Youtube on how to clean make up brushes and as well as make up sponges. And I was successful at cleaning them.

Make-up I need to have. Please when I have money.

DISCLAIMER : I do not have full knowledge of make-up and I do not own professional ones. And I don't know what to call some of it.And the right brands. So please don't be offended or insulted if I called some things wrong :D

1.) Black Eyeshadow Cream



2.) Liquid Eyeliner



3.)Brow brush



4.) Glitter eyeliner



5.)Eye shadow brush



And I honestly want to this make-up:



But I am Asian so I have monolids. But hey, I shall try.


PS: Pictures not mine. Just searched Google. :)

Damn, Regret.

As much as I want to appear strong and answer the question "What are your regrets in life" with a nothing, I would come clean.

I haven't lived my life to the fullest because I've always chosen to be on the sidewalk, where it is very much safe from trouble. I've been a safe player, or you can even consider that as not playing at all. I dislike risks. I don't go out of the house without even knowing how to get back. I don't take chances without checking out if the favors are with me. I know that there are a lot of things that I wish I did. It may be hard to believe but these aren't the things that bother me at night.

Whenever I ask myself some nights about the thing that I regret the most, I turn on my bed and hold the rosary that has always been beside my pillow.

I was little. I can't even remember what age I was but I remember that I can't reach the top of the pew in the Church. I was nearly four when I woke up to the day that changed my life. I still remember it clearly in my head. I was sitting on the high chair my father had made. We were eating breakfast when my parents suddenly noticed that something is different with my face. And I guess the rest is history.

I grew up with a religious culture. I was enrolled in a private school that are headed by Reverends and priests. Whenever I would go to church, I would always pray to be healed. My mom would always tell me at night that Jesus will do some miracle, that eventually, things will fall on how it used to be. I prayed. Every night I will pray and every morning I would expect to see a different face in the mirror. Sadly, it didn't change.Days, months and even years has passed.

And then there goes my regret. I stopped praying. When I hit the age of ten, I've stopped praying for a miracle. I've stopped expecting a new face in the mirror. That's when I've stopped believing that things will change. I've stopped believing in this thing they call miracle.

I've been through a rough patch in years and I would say that if it weren't for those hard times, I won't know Joel Osteen's book. I know that I've said this a lot but his books really did save my life. And this sickness may have taken some things from me but now I do know that God will restore things for me.

So I know it may take some years again to wait for that miracle but this time I have learned. Prayers work. It may not be in time where you thought you needed the most but it will work in His perfect timing.

So if I could advise one thing, don't stop praying. God hears you. He's listening. He's not moving away from you. And he can never disown his own child. You are His child. Always remember that.

Then No One Knows

"They say you have no memory of pain, and this proves it. They say we only remember the fact that something causes pain -- fire burns, knives cut -- but we're incapable of remembering the pain itself. That's why after the trauma of childbirth, women are ready to have a baby again a few months later. That's why, I guess, we fall in love again."

-- Vince Teves, Vince's Life (The Wedding)

And this :)

This.

CROSSROAD.

I think one of the tragedies in life is having to make a decision on choosing between your heart and your head.

I've never been in this situation before because I always knew what I wanted, unlike now.

My head is thinking something while my heart is beating something else. What do I exactly do?

I guess this is the part where they say you've got to know yourself first. You have to know whether you have a better head or a better heart.

And I've always thought I've never had a heart.

What now?

FIRST: Super devastated to know that the FOUNDING MEMBERS of the band Paramore had decided to call it quits. I just can't imagine the three remaining to maintain what the band has started. My faith lies on Taylor York and whatever it is that Hayley would write,which I hope is about the Farros leaving. Goodluck on finding a new drummer cause Zac is really sick! The Farros always gave the artistic vibe. I wonder how they will continue. Well, we'll just have to see on 2011.

As for the Farros, I will watch out for them whatever band they decide. Happiness for the both of them. For Josh and his wifey and hopefully Zac finds a girl or goes back with Emily.

Hayyy. It's just that I think they are the band that made me into alternative rock. It's just bad how things turned out to be.

Oh well, you know what they say, you only have 15 minutes of fame.

I miss them already :|


http://www.paramore.net/blog/announcement/
http://www.joshnfarro.blogspot.com

STARTING TO FEEL THE LONELINESS.

I don't know what it's like to love. But once upon a time, I met this guy. He made me feel everything I've never felt before. And he's not even mine.

I always thank God for letting me meet him and be a part of his life even for a second.

GOOD TIMES 2010

WOW. How long have I not written in here? It seems I've forgotten about blogging when it is so easy to reblog over at tumblr. But I think blogging like this has more essence than reblogging things that you feel at the moment. I can't even remember on how much I love reading life stories rather than just reading sentences on a nice nature background.

Oh well. This is meant to be preserved.

I woke up 11 AM today. I am so glad that I did. I slept at around 5 AM. I came from my old good friend Ara's birthday celebration. I hate it that I can't drink. It was so tempting that I even gave in twice. Damn this medically done prohibition. Oh well, better safe than sorry.

I thought it will be just the five of us. The oldest friendship that I had. I thought it was just going to be us but then her classmates were invited too. It was somehow fun because it would be such a bore if it were just the four of us. There were tons of food! YUM YUM. Pancit, BBQ, SHRIMP!! and Calamares. Awesome. Since I am banned from drinking, I just decided to indulge myself in food. YUMYUMYUM.

It was fun. We played 123 pass and had my face covered in powder because I kept on losing. That's how a loser rolls. YEAH!

So we annually celebrate Ara's birthday! I think we didn't last year, I can't quite remember but we always do. And it is something that I look forward too since we seldom bond this days because we're in college and our schedule is tight that we spend free times with our beds. I think that's the downside of growing up, you tend to be lazy to go out on the streets. Or maybe that's just me. Hmmmm.

So by 12 midnight, there were fireworks somewhere in the sky and it somehow jumpstarted the remaining hours to indulge in drinking and shots through games. Goodtimes.

Went home at around 230 in the morning but I honestly didn't feel so sleepy. Downloaded Iron Man 2 and watched it as soon as I woke up! :)

Oh well, I think having pleasure is over. Time to study Karnaugh map!

Let's go for 4.0 :D

OH, I'M EVERYWHERE.

Sobrang sabog, sobrang kalat.

Anyway, this week has been very, indescribable for me. So let me divide this entry.

MONDAY
We went to Tagaytay to visit the Pink Sisters. I am totally out of myself and maybe that may have done some damage to the petitions I've written. Considering that I wasn't able to pray well and I wasn't able to put the most important thing in the envelope. Well, not the most important thing. What was I thinking again? Oh wait, who was I thinking again? I was literally floating all over the place because I don't even know what I'm doing. It's like my soul has been stolen and I'm everywhere.

TUESDAY
First exam. I realized that I was studying something that's not in the syllabus. Very stupid idea. I don't know if I did make it but I'm still putting my palms together. Gosh, I don't know anymore.

WEDNESDAY
Another exam. It was supposed to be easy if only I did take the studying really really really seriously. I guessed I assumed a lot of things which was really really bad for my case. I don't even want to know anymore. Gahhdd, why did I sleep the precious night, again?

THURSDAY
WOW. I wasn't expecting how bad this day was. My quizzes in CONTSIG were making it but apparently my ELETRO1 quizzes aren't! But I was really confident that one of those quizzes will make it but apparently none of it did! I was so upset and even more upset when I realized how much I was hanging on to a thread! Oh,please, God, oh please.

I don't understand but I trust HIM.

And one of the events this week is that my good friend slash best friend Ydette has a DENGUE and she's been suffering from it. I want to go to Batangas and see her and tell her that God would fight that battle for her. She's always been good to everyone and she's very close to God. Why, oh ,why.


I don't understand but I trust HIM.

So there, I just thought I needed to spill those things because it has been driving me insane lately.

Gosh.

:|ayeenatienza